Experiment #173
The author began conducting
experiments on himself at an early
age which included: staring at the
sun for extended periods of time,
eating glass Christmas balls, and
ingesting all liquids from a canteen.
Here, he demonstrates an early
hypothesis on muscle atrophy and
The Yellow Tail Yeller
The author as a young man stops to
check his watch after an early
morning run. It is one of the earliest
documentations of the author's
"Jonathan Ames" phase in which he
emulates his writing hero (hence the
white hat and dyed eyebrows) and
commits to an extended celibacy
Bowman Body with Author
The young author poses with his
childhood hero. Many such eccentric
characters frequented his father's art
studio and would often baby sit him.
Hence the young author learned
about such important things as
stirring soup and bras at an early age.
Author with Mac 1 & Mac 2
The author enjoying delicious apples
with his twin sisters some time in
early 1970. Mac 1 and Mac 2 were
still speaking Idioglossia at this point
and waiting to go back to their planet.
Apples, according to the
Encyclopedia Britannica, were
supposed to help their frail alien
Last American Gladiator
The young author poses with
chopper which his father made for
him after the accident with the Great
Dane dog. The white, Dairy
Queen-like turban had already been
removed with the 144 stitches at this
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